End Every Widowhood rites that violates women’s dignity
After years of life struggle and experience as a young widow in a culture where you’re shauned and exploitated at each bend, as I became good referral point with people calling me to come help speak to newly bereaved widow; it done on me after 4 years on it’s increase that mentorship is a great resource I lacked in my early years little wonder I contemplated suicide and murder in my dark years.
With the creation of Almanah Hope Foundation and interaction with widows, it became obvious to me the reason for the continued downward transmission of most of these practices and abuses of women in widowhood. It is our silence and our secrecy which was born of our cultural presentation and attitude to widows. It has breed fear and shame on the widow and by it, the society made her voiceless. Now, In realisation, that giving her a voice is the key. And to do that effectively media is main tool and for it to efficient education must be goal.
Today 4 years down, we’re still fighting the brick wall of conspiracy of silence, pretence, inability or uncare taking place between culture, family, government, religion and the widow herself. As I often ask the question;
● Is it that we truly do not know what’s happening to widows across our culture yet we register everyday by the second new foundation of empowerment for widow?
● Is it that the traditional rulers will be killed by the gods if they outlaw these practices using letters, town crier, churches, village meetings to say; No, no more; let a woman bury her husband and leave her property for her & kids; boys or girls?
Is it that the families of these widows cannot mobilise or join their force and get government at all level to create and disseminate policies and information on the end of all widowhood rites and exploitations that violates women dignity?
Is it that we do not see young widows in early 20s rusting away as we preach holiness calling her Jesus husband without teaching our young one from Sunday school class about marriage, death and remarriage?
● Is it that they do not see and hear widows stories of being exploited and disenfranchised by in-laws who are all our church members to preach sternly and condemn outright the act from the altar as it becomes an elaborated topic in churches outline.
The ‘is it’ can go on as we expose these conspiracies, but because I/we’ve become a voice to get the voices that makes the change, I summary with a story to this picture. In #Iwd2019 widows day charity walk, we produce a trailer of our dream project (AWWA A WIDOW’S WINDOW AFRICA drama series of widows real life stories for education and enlightenment through media, documentary film ( watch at our YouTube Almanah Hope A Widow’s Windows Africa), I remember sharing with it a friend we all group up together, a ‘big man’ in our country. Despite the fact he watch a women tell her life ordeal; he called me to say to me and I quote “this wasn’t true, this exaggerated, it doesn’t happen anymore”. I was so furious, I felt insulted that he believes the widow was acting that out to gain sympathy.
Then at our charity walk at Awka Anambra State; we had a brief talk with people at the market square and a random selected 5 widows interviewed there at the market square had the same story. One above said she was strip off of everything as she has moved with her kids to her father’s house which is the next town. Like she said “Is that you’ve not heard my story, the story ‘wuruewu’ ; as others struggled to tell their of same horrendous experience. This is the very town of my dear friend. I took the clip of interview after the project and sent it to him and he NEVER made a comment till today. And I am sure he never gave it a second thought talk less of seeing how he can help using his position.
The reality is either he’s thinking that he knows his wife is immune with his wealth and class or he’s not dieing at least not now, it’s till he’s 100 years; so that’s the problem of us who’s husband isn’t in his category.
As we celebrate Easter and contain the #covid19 pandemic with so many struggling hard in supporting and soliciting to support widows, my question is what have you done to address the root issue of widowhood in your locality?
Think about it. As the “earth is shut for repair” according to my dear friend Dr Ngozi Onyia, plan to join root out her main issue of disenchantment once the repair is over and the earth reopened. Be an ear they can call and a voice that gives her the voice in your community. #village
The resurrection of Jesus Christ will usher in healing upon our world in Jesus name, Amen!
Happy Easter #happyeaster2020
A Widow's Window 